The gossip also contains news of Man United swapping De Gea for Bale, because it is apparently 2014.
Virgil van Dijk is trying to force his move to Liverpool, and Dick Advocaat can "understand" why.
Conte chose not to divulge quite why he thinks this "will be the most difficult season of my career".
Chelsea may have signed a few players, but all are replacements. Conte knows that time is running out.
"I wanted to feel like I belong somewhere," says Watford new boy Chalobah. He wasn't getting chances.
Arsenal v Chelsea is never a friendly, but the Community Shield is. And the EFL season begins. Hurrah!
With less than a month of the transfer window left, what does every Prem club still need to do?
Here is a full list of every pre-season result, the fixtures to come, and the goalscorers so far.
Remember that fella who is now Chelsea's club-record signing? He didn't fancy battling Kane at Spurs.
Matic is the magnificent seventh player to be signed by Mourinho more than once. How did the others fare?
In discussing the title, Ryan Giggs left out two of the expected frontrunners. He's not a man to let things go.
Will Sanchez and Coutinho follow this bunch in actually handing in a transfer request?
Diego Costa had better bloody hope that Atletico actually want him. Where else can he go now?
Ake "understands" Conte's point, but says he had to leave Chelsea for first-team football.
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