The magic of the Emirates Cup has gone, Liverpool are winning the title, and Spurs will be relegated.
The gossip also contains news of Man United swapping De Gea for Bale, because it is apparently 2014.
Although he does let Man United off. "All the years before it was always a team who was kicked out."
Cristiano Ronaldo, the world's biggest c*cktease, says he wants to come back to England.
Football's good guy, Mata, has urged players to follow him in donating Juan per cent of their wages.
With less than a month of the transfer window left, what does every Prem club still need to do?
Mourinho has met with Martial to tell the forward he has plans for him this coming season.
Man United are currently mulling over the possibility of appealing against the ban Phil Jones was handed.
Klopp was critical of the fee PSG are paying for Neymar. Mourinho has one "problem", but not the price.
Here is a full list of every pre-season result, the fixtures to come, and the goalscorers so far.
Mourinho hailed new signing Matic "a genius" as the holding midfielder made his United debut.
Matic started. Mkhitaryan and Mata scored. Man United won. Mourinho celebrated. Mmmmm.
Barcelona confirm that PSG have dealt them a dose of their own medicini. Neymar wants out.
Jose Mourinho always wins the title in his second season anywhere. Does that run end now?
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