Arsenal v Everton
They need favours elsewhere now but fair f**king play to Arsenal, who have had a real go since losing to Spurs a few week back. They’ve won four on the spin and can ease past an Everton side who have not won any of their last seven away.
Betting: Arsenal to win and both teams to score at 7/4 (Bet Stars)
Burnley v West Ham
If ever a team were playing in their flip flops it was West Ham against Liverpool last week. If they remain in holiday mode they’ll come unstuck against a Burnley side who have claimed 33 of their 40 points this season at HQ.
Betting: Burnley to win at 29/20 (bet365)
Chelsea v Sunderland
If I had a spare six grand lying around I might be tempted to turn it into seven by smashing the Blues at 1/6 here. Alas I’ve been doing my conkers over the past few days at York and the Rome Masters so instead I’ll console myself by nibbling Willian to score first at 11/2. Chelsea’s home form has been breathtaking while the Black Cats’ away form is beyond parody. This could be carnage.
Betting: Willian to score first at 11/2 (Betfred)
Hull City v Tottenham
Spurs are going out with a bang, Hull with a whimper. Pochettino’s men are 7/5 to win this by more than a goal, and frankly that makes me so horny I could do a goat.
Betting: Tottenham (-1) at 7/5 (Stan James)
Leicester v Bournemouth
Another crazy season for Leicester. Not ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest’ crazy like last year, but still f**king crazy. Flirting with relegation. Sacking managers. Casually strolling to the last eight of the Champions League. It’s all been going off. Can they sign off with a win? The outgoing champions look a solid bet and I wouldn’t put it past Riyad Mahrez, in what could be his last game for the club, signing off with a goal. The absolute raggamuffin.
Betting: Mahrez to score anytime at 9/4 (Betway)
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Liverpool v Middlesbrough
The Reds have never lost a final day fixture at home in the Premier League era and take on a Boro side who’ve won just once in the league in five months. Jurgen Klopp knows three points equals Champions League so it’s hard to see them slipping up here against a side who have managed a poxy 27 goals in 37 top flight games so far.
Betting: Draw/Liverpool double result at 19/5 (Bet Victor)
Manchester United v Crystal Palace
The Eagles scream value here at 19/10 having won seven of their last twelve. They have beaten the likes of Chelsea and Liverpool away during that run. It helps too that United don’t actually want to play this fixture with a Europa League final looming. If Don Jose had his way he’d play Carl the Stratford End programme seller on the left of a midfield three and Doris the Old Trafford head cook just behind Wayne Rooney. Fact.
Betting: Crystal Palace to win at 19/10 (Bet Victor)
Southampton v Stoke City
Literally no clue here. Stoke have lost 10 of 18 league games while the Saints have failed to score in any of their last four home games. Unders, possibly? For the craic…
Betting: Under 2.5 goals at 10/11 (Paddy Power)
Swansea v West Brom
Swansea will be bouncing after securing their top-flight status for another season last week and what a job Paul Clement has done. Twenty-six points have been bagged from his 19 games in charge and they look good for three more here against a Baggies side who have picked up just two points from seven matches.
Betting: Swansea to win at 11/10 (bet365)
Watford v Manchester City
The Citizens know a win and it’s job done in terms of Champions League qualification but even if they roll all over Watford – which is highly likely – it’s still been a distinctly underwhelming season for Pep Guardiola’s mob. Watford have confirmed they’ll be replacing their manager next season despite the fact they could conceivably finish as high as twelfth if results go their way on Sunday. One of Walter Mazzarri’s main ‘failures’ at Vicarage Road was seemingly not learning English fast enough. The big puttana.
Betting: Manchester City to win and both teams to score at 17/10 (Bet Bright)